June 14th was a year

That mt best of bestess buddy Mason, went to Heaven. I went to go see him at hospital. My son Carlos, that also knew Mason took me. I have never liked visiting people in hospitals. But I knew I had to go see him. And.... I had to say good-bye to him. I went in behalf of some PH friends. I held his hand and I told him that it was ok, that everything was gonna be ok. I think that was one of the most difficult days of my life. After we left the hospital, I received the call that I was dreadin, he was gone.. I was told that he passed as soon as we had left the hospital, Carlos and I cried and cried so much.

I sill miss him very much, he was soooo young and I wish he would of gotten a second chance at life, but he didnt. I ask why, even though we are told we are not supposed to ask. I still do. I know he is in a better place and not suffering. So that makes it a bit better.

On another note. I have being going through s ruff time right now. At first I didnt know what the heck was going on, and I was like going crazy and just crying and cying every single day every single minute. Seems that everything was going wrong. Not just here at home. All I wanted to do is sleep. I would get up take my meds and go back to bed. Sleep sleep and more sleep.. Just to tyr to forget. Well things are a bit better now.. still not good and I really ahve no idea what the heck is next. But I am a bit calmer. I am still sleeping alot. Which is good, for me. I am trying to concentrate on PH Conference. I've been trying to bead, but cant seem to get into the bead mode.. Things happen that you jsut dont expect and that just turns the bead mode off.. well for me anyways. Conference is next week and I have not finished what I wanted to finish by that time. Maybe its isnt meant for me to take my Jewelry to conference, Maybe it jsut isnt meant for me to bead anymore.. I dunno.. I try to start beading and I do, but then I remember things and just leave everything unfinished and go to the living room. I cant get into it..

Now the other day I went shopping and I took the bus as usual and went to the stores that I normally go to. On my way home about 2 blocks (very long blocks) I notice that Willie aka my wheelchair was running on low, uh oh! I started PHreaking out! I thought I wasnt gonna make it home and was gonna be stuck in the middle of the street when crossing. I had to stop every ferw minutes turn willie off and restart. I prayed that I would get home and willie not die on me. I finally got home, poor willie chugged, chugged and chugged away but he did not fail me :) Ok so I put willie to charge, in the eveing i had to go get my Rx from pharmacy, so there I go on willie again. I was at crosswalk and some cars stopped so that I could cross. I was in the middle of cross walk and all of a sudden I see this car turning right into me.. OMG I just screamed and I guess the A/H heard me and he looked!! He had to swerve sp? away to avoind hitting me! I yelled at him crying and said YOU A/H. He jsut looked at me and took off. I just stayed there and the people from the cars that had let me go bye. Had to get off and ask me if I wa alright I was jsut crying and crying. I finally got control of myslef and continued on to the sidewalk. Heck thats not me way of dying! Being hit by a car! We tried to get his license plate # but he took off sooo fast that we just couldnt read it!

Ok I guess this is it for now.. til next time.

Thnx for reading!

Cathy