Carlos and I went to Mason's service on Saturday, June 27th, 2009. Marcia, Ellen and Mack where also there.
It was a nice service, there were many there at his service. The reception was very nice. They had collages of Mason with family, friends and PHamily also. Some of the pics where of when he was a baby and as he grew into a wonderful young man. They also had a video of him and they played some of his favorite songs. There was some drama at the reception but that is something that I feel I should not discuss. So I will leave that at that.
So you are probably asking why?? Well... the reason is that I failed all my PHamily and PHriends. I was supposed to go and represent them all and I didn't. I was supposed to let all his family and friends know how much we loved him and how much we cared for him and how he had become part of our daily life. I was supposed to speak on behalf of all of us... and I didn't. He meant so much to many of us and I did NOT have the BALLS to go up there and let everyone know... I was asked by Janet to speak at his service, she told me that Dale had agreed to it. And I did not do it!
I cant seem to let go of this... I know I should, Carlos tells me that the important thing is that Mason did know and that's all that counts. He is right but I cant let this go!
I ask you all to please forgive me for bieng the coward that I am.
Cathy
6 comments:
Cathy, you are totally wrong. You are sooo not a failure!! You were there, you represented all of us who couldn't go. Mason knew you were there, I have no doubts about that whatsoever. Please do not beat yourself up about not speaking in front of everyone!! I thank you for being there, because I wish I could have gone. You were there for Mason, and he knew it. Love you, my phriend!! HUGS
Moma...You are so not a failure...You did so much and represneted us all...Mason knows you were teher and also how much you love him...Like i told you...do not feel guilty,you have do no wrong...Thx for all you did for us all. please let this go..maybe just writing it helped...
Hugs y besos...Love you :))
Jen
Oh Cathy, you are not a failure. I saw how Janet hugged you and the family knew you and who you were and who you represented. They didn't know me or Ellen (until she spoke) from Adam. It meant so much to them that you were there. I feel good just knowning Mason and our phriends knew we were there. Please let it go and be happy for Mason. You did everything right. We would have been blubbering idiots if we had tried to speak. You know that.
Cathy, You are a wonderful friend. You were there when Mason left this world. You represented us well and you have such a good heart. Maybe you see yourself as a failure, but no one else does. Please love yourself, Mason would want you to.
Honey, I have balls enough for all of us. You can have mine if you can't find yours...
Oh Cathy! I just read this today and want you to know that I know you are a loving person and most of all Mason did and he knew you were there. Word gets around and I'm sure most who attended knew you were there to represent the phamily but it doesn't matter as phamily knew you went for them.
(((((((((((Hugs))))))))
Nan
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