To grieve for my BEST Buddy in the whole wide world, Mason. I see myself afraid now, afraid of getting too close to some of my PHriends. I am seeing myself more meaner then ever. I am being more of a bitch with an attidtude. I mean, as far as Im concerned I've always been one. But I am more now. I am afraid of losing someone else to this DAMN HORRIBLE DISEASE!
I miss Mason so much, I think about him every single day. It's been 2 months since he passed and almost 2 months since he was layed to rest. But yet it seems like only yesterday he was online IM me or I him, and it seems like only yesterday he was with us all in PH Chat. Just being himself like always. I miss his make up stories that he would tell us :). I miss his smart ass remarks to most! I miss when he would leave without saying goodbye to us and the next day I would scould him :) In a nice way of course. He asked me one time what I was gonna give him if he said goodbye before he left? Somehow a cookie came out of that, so in order to get one he had to said goodbye before he left chat, LOL. And he made sure he asked for his cookie before he left.. hehehehe! I remember alot of his last words to us in chat... very sad. He knew he wasn't going to be with us for long. He knew his time was coming. And deep down inside I knew it also, I just didnt want to accept it. I prayed so much for him, I begged GOD to please not take him, I begged GOD to please pass jis healings hands over his body and make him well. And I begged GOD to take me instead! Maybe it wasnt enough?
I know that he is in heaven and that he is happy and not suffering, I know he is breathing easier and I know he is resting now. But.... I cant help it when I miss him so much! I just wish he would of had a lil more time. We were making plans about what we were gonna do when he got his second set of lungs. But, plans dont always come out the way you want them to.
Mason, buddy... I miss you :)
Together forever we shall be, never apart, maybe in distance, but not in heart!
I miss Mason so much, I think about him every single day. It's been 2 months since he passed and almost 2 months since he was layed to rest. But yet it seems like only yesterday he was online IM me or I him, and it seems like only yesterday he was with us all in PH Chat. Just being himself like always. I miss his make up stories that he would tell us :). I miss his smart ass remarks to most! I miss when he would leave without saying goodbye to us and the next day I would scould him :) In a nice way of course. He asked me one time what I was gonna give him if he said goodbye before he left? Somehow a cookie came out of that, so in order to get one he had to said goodbye before he left chat, LOL. And he made sure he asked for his cookie before he left.. hehehehe! I remember alot of his last words to us in chat... very sad. He knew he wasn't going to be with us for long. He knew his time was coming. And deep down inside I knew it also, I just didnt want to accept it. I prayed so much for him, I begged GOD to please not take him, I begged GOD to please pass jis healings hands over his body and make him well. And I begged GOD to take me instead! Maybe it wasnt enough?
I know that he is in heaven and that he is happy and not suffering, I know he is breathing easier and I know he is resting now. But.... I cant help it when I miss him so much! I just wish he would of had a lil more time. We were making plans about what we were gonna do when he got his second set of lungs. But, plans dont always come out the way you want them to.
Mason, buddy... I miss you :)
Together forever we shall be, never apart, maybe in distance, but not in heart!
Cathy
4 comments:
Cathy I so agree it seems like just yesterday. I am still crying over Mason's passing - though I didn't know him as well as you did - it still hurts.
My prayers go out to you - I know this can't be easy for you - you will be okay. Love you Deb.
It certainly feels like he's been gone for 2 months, but it hasn't been 2 months yet. I find it hard to believe that he is still gone. I keep thinking I'm doing ok with it, and then I bring him up to someone, and I just feel the tears in my eyes and the crack in my voice, and it hits home all over again that he isn't here. I am glad that we've had each other to share our memories of him, to laugh and cry and share stories we may not have heard. Between all of us who are grieving over him, we will all keep his memory alive. He will never be forgotten!
Hugs y besos (did I do that right?? lol), Colleen :)
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. I know everyone says, that it will get easier with time. but, sometimes it feels like that time will never come. Keep hanging on to your family and your phamily.
much love
annette
Moma...
Are you being Miss Biatchatutude???LOL..I hear ya..It is so scary losing someone so close..it does make ya want to kinda pull away at times but then just remember , we are PHamily and we help each other so much...
I know it is hard..It seems like I am talking about Mason everytime I see something that reminds me of him or something he said..We are all grieving together and it is not easy...Hang in there and know I am always here for ya....
Hugs Y besos...Luv ya:)))
Lil Pollita ;)
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