Monday, September 8, 2008

I can smell that!

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My husband tells me my nose is really sensitive to smells. Well it is true. Example we are in the car, he is driving I can smell onion and garlic being hauled in a truck miles away before it even passes us. And I tell him it smells like onions, he tells me I don't smell anything and about 15 minutes later there comes the truck! He tells me, you are right there comes your smell. I don't know why I am like that, it makes me mad sometimes. I have to carry some of the masks that I get from my supplier. And I actually wear it when I smell something that is yuckie to me. If I go into a public restroom and a Momma is changing her baby's diaper. I have to put a mask on! Yeah, I know, I know that's what restrooms are for and my younger sister has told me. Hey that's what restrooms are for, for people to go in and do their business. I tell her I know but I can't stand the smell. It really, really makes me want to puke. Before I got the GREAT idea of carrying some masks with me, I would just leave and try to go to a different restroom. I posted on the PH boards about IV Remodulin and the smell of it. I asked if anyone else could smell it. Well most said no, a few said yes. I was glad for those few that said yes because I thought it was just me and I was crazy. I can even smell it on me, like if it is coming out my pores! Weird hah? On my next appt I am going to have to mention it to my PH specialist.
Another thing is that I am freaking out because of the 3 lines infections that I had last time I was on IV Remodulin. I have been on it about the same amount of time as last time when I got them. And I am getting scared that I will end up with another one. It is stressing me out and it has gotten to a point that I am sick and tired of doing the change now! I know it's for the best that I am on it and I think of those lefties that can not be on PH meds. And I should be grateful that I am not a lefties and that I am able to be on it. But........ it is scaring me to death right now! The past few days I have also felt overwhelmed every time I do a change, it has gotten to a point that I tell my husband that I am sick and tired of all these dammed meds that I am on for PH! Every time my alarm goes off letting me know thats its time for Tracleer or for Revatio. It MAKES me MAD! How ungrateful I must sound. I should be happy that I am feeling better, right? But right now I can not feel that. I'm I feeling sorry for myself? I'm I having some pity days? I wish I knew because I don't even know. I hope that I did not ruin any one's day by posting this and I am sorry for venting like this and about this.
Remember my phriends that I WUV U LOTS!
(((((HUGS))))))
Cathy

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cathy...Hugs to ya and lots of them....
I have some of the same sensitivity of smell and was never like that before?? I was in Nursing and it never bothered me???

It is Ok to have a Pity day..We all do..just do not forget to get off the pot and flush..LOL

We all love ya and understand..It all does get old and frustrating some days...But we are still here and doing the best we can:)) Hang in there...Try and relax ....

Love & Hugs,
Jen

Colleen said...

Ooooooh, I like Jen's phrasing about the Pity day. Get off the pot and flush, that is good! LOL!

We all go through days where we really wish we didn't have to bother with the darn meds that are keeping us alive. I know I have days like that, too! Just hang in there, Cathy! I really hope you won't get any infections with this new line, but don't constanly think about it because it will drive you nuts!!
HUGS,
Colleen :)