Monday, October 6, 2008

Lost little puppy

PhotobucketOK, Where do I start? My husband has only been gone 4 days and I feel totaly lost without him. I am trying to keep busy, but....... I just can't function. I am not sleeping I toss and turn all night! Gosh, I hate this feeling. I mean he has been gone before, but since my Dx he has never left me. Yeah, last year I went to Puerto Vallarta for 2 weeks and he didn't go with me. But my son Carlos did and he actually slept with me. And also I would talk to my husband everyday. So that made it easier. But now for some reason, maybe because its another city. I can't call him and Sprint is of no help.
I am freaking out here, I keep thinking... OMG what if something where to happen to him, how would I deal with his loss? I have even prayed and asked GOD to please take me first and not him. I know I have to stop thinking like this. I can't STOP!
Out of no where for every little thing I just cry. I even get headaches now when I cry. It feels like if I just turn on my tears and there they come. I am a mess. I try to take a nap during the day, since I don't sleep at night and I don't sleep either. I just toss and turn.
I wish I could talk to him everyday even for a minute. I know that would help. but I have to wait until he calls me from a lan line and that is hard because of the area. Not everyone has a phone over there.
Sooooooo here I am like a lost puppie. I wish the days would get easier for me. It seems that they are getting harder. And going by sooooooo slowwwwww.
Take care all, thanks for reading

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Cathy...
Pobrecita....I am so sorry..I know what you mean...I would feel the same. Manny works nights and then he even calls me at least 3 times..LOL..my friends and family think that is crazy!! ;)

Please try and think positive ..I am sure he is fine and will call every chance he gets..He is probably worse than you!!!I imagine he is worried so much about you..

Remember I am here and try and relax and also stay busy..You do not need any added stress!! Hope the days get better...

Love & Hugs,
Jen

Colleen said...

Oh Cathy, I wish there was something I could do for you!! Please, if you need to chat or anything and you see me online, don't hesitate to IM me. Or email me if you want to. I can also give you my phone number, I don't mind chatting for a bit if you need to get your mind off of missing your hubby for a bit!!

HUGS!
Colleen :)

baby_doll007 said...

Cathy, I'm sure he is as worried about you as you are about him. Try and distract yourself with something else instead of constantly thinking about him being away. I know it's difficut but causing yourself unecessary stress won't help you feel any better is not good for your health. I know when Al is away I get lonely too, but I try not to think negatively and know he'll be back. Take Care. -Hugs- Imelda